Stairway To Heaven
by ShadowOfApate
Summary: Legaspi finds out why Weaver had been acting off before they had broken up, and returns to County
1. Default Chapter

Title: Stairway To Heaven   
  
Chapter: One/?   
  
Rating: R   
  
Pairings: KW/KL, Kerry Weaver, Elizabeth Corday   
  
Genre: Drama   
  
Spoilers: Up to and including season eight   
  
Timeline: After Four Corners   
  
Beta Reader: Scotty Welles   
  
  
  
Summary: What if during Witch Hunt, and the  
  
following Episodes it wasn't fear that kept Kerry   
  
from helping Kim. What if there was something else  
  
going on with her. What if Kim had no idea   
  
about what that something was.   
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. All characters belong to  
  
Warner Bros and Michael Crichton.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Artist: Led Zeppelin   
  
  
  
Title: Stairway To Heaven   
  
  
  
  
  
There's a lady who's sure   
  
All that glitters is gold   
  
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.   
  
When she gets there she knows   
  
If the stores are all closed   
  
With a word she can get what she came for.   
  
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.   
  
There's a sign on the wall   
  
But she wants to be sure   
  
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.   
  
In a tree by the brook   
  
There's a songbird who sings,   
  
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.   
  
Ooh, it makes me wonder,   
  
Ooh, it makes me wonder.   
  
There's a feeling I get   
  
When I look to the west,   
  
And my spirit is crying for leaving.   
  
In my thoughts I have seen   
  
Rings of smoke through the trees,   
  
And the voices of those who standing looking.   
  
Ooh, it makes me wonder,   
  
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.   
  
And it's whispered that soon, If we all call the tune   
  
  
  
Then the piper will lead us to reason.   
  
And a new day will dawn   
  
For those who stand long   
  
And the forests will echo with laughter.   
  
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, Don't be alarmed  
  
now,   
  
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.   
  
Yes, there are two paths you can go by   
  
But in the long run   
  
There's still time to change the road you're on.   
  
And it makes me wonder.   
  
Your head is humming and it won't go   
  
In case you don't know,   
  
The piper's calling you to join him,   
  
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,   
  
And did you know   
  
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.   
  
And as we wind on down the road   
  
Our shadows taller than our soul.   
  
There walks a lady we all know   
  
Who shines white light and wants to show   
  
How ev'rything still turns to gold.   
  
And if you listen very hard   
  
The tune will come to you at last.   
  
When all are one and one is all   
  
To be a rock and not to roll.   
  
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Driven pain sliced through her cramped hands, while  
  
she struggled to stop their violent shaking.   
  
Breathing became harder as the bone-numbing pain that  
  
crippled her body flared through them, up her arms and  
  
into her wrists. The sharp, penetrating agony sheared  
  
into her very soul, leaving her gasping through silent  
  
tears.   
  
  
  
The determination to remain quiet became harder to  
  
remember, impossible to carry out. The willpower that  
  
made her a legend in the hospital fell away before the  
  
lonely self-doubt and the realization of the true  
  
seriousness of her body's betrayal.   
  
  
  
The harsh, raking glare of the bright bathroom lights  
  
blinded her tear-blurred eyes, making the nightmarish  
  
pain seem even more unreal in her mind. The sobbing  
  
gasp erupted from her hoarse throat when her sore hip  
  
throbbed under her pale skin.   
  
  
  
The water burst from the faucet, silent to her ears,  
  
which could only hear the blood-pounding heat inside  
  
her head. Convulsing hands dove into the freezing  
  
water, while her whispered sobs pleaded for them to  
  
cooperate with her.   
  
  
  
She only had two more hours left on her shift, two  
  
more hours to get through. Then they could do  
  
whatever they wanted. But she had to get through  
  
those two hours first.   
  
  
  
The bang of the door slamming into the far wall  
  
alerted her to another presence, giving her no time to  
  
hide her struggles. Hands that refused to do what she  
  
commanded splashed water onto her face to hide the  
  
tears. Without looking, she snatched a paper towel  
  
from the dispenser and occupied her hands with it,  
  
hoping that whoever had barged into her sanctuary  
  
wouldn't notice the uncontrollable shaking.   
  
  
  
She risked looking up, and immediately regretted it,  
  
as she found herself staring into Elizabeth's  
  
unforgiving face. Their working relationship had been  
  
shaky before, but now it wasn't even neutral.   
  
  
  
The surgeon seemed to regard her coolly for a moment  
  
before approaching the sink next to her. "You feeling  
  
okay?"   
  
  
  
"Fine."   
  
  
  
"Really? It just seemed like you were distracted in  
  
the M & M."   
  
  
  
She clenched her jaw, throwing the soaked paper towel  
  
into the nearby trash can, using the excuse to keep  
  
her back to the surgeon. "I've just had a lot on my  
  
mind."   
  
  
  
"Oh? Trying to think of another way to get rid of  
  
Mark?"   
  
  
  
The cold tone of the other woman seemed to snap the  
  
last restraint in her. The disappointment, fear, and  
  
pain of the last seven months flooded lose as she spun  
  
on the woman she'd always respected. "Not everything  
  
around here is about you or your husband," she  
  
snarled. "I am sorry that he had cancer, I am sorry  
  
that he's had such a hard time adjusting, and I am  
  
sorry that not everyone around here can cater to your  
  
every whim and beck-and-call. I am even sorrier that  
  
I had to have him evaluated, but I did what I had to  
  
in order to ensure the safety of the patients and to  
  
protect the hospital!" She took a step towards the  
  
shocked surgeon, her entire body shaking from emotion.  
  
"I did what I had to do to protect him, and if you  
  
are too blinded by your feelings for him to see that,  
  
then that's your problem, not mine."   
  
  
  
She grimaced slightly at the fresh bout of pain that  
  
shot through her hands. The toll of working in an  
  
inner city ER was starting to hit her harder and  
  
harder, and with everything else...   
  
  
  
"Are you sure you're all right?"   
  
  
  
She swallowed back the lump of tears threatening to  
  
spill from her eyes. The icy exterior of the surgeon  
  
had melted away, leaving the concerned compassionate  
  
surgeon that she always admired. "I'm fine."   
  
  
  
The surgeon took her hand, looking up at her closely  
  
as a hiss of pain escaped her lips.   
  
  
  
She tried to get her hand away, but Elizabeth held on  
  
tightly, examining them. "I said I'm fine."   
  
  
  
"Really?" Elizabeth stepped towards her, until she  
  
could feel the heat radiating off the other woman's  
  
body. "And I suppose that you're just overworked?"   
  
  
  
Kerry moved back from the taller woman. The months  
  
weighed on her soul in a burden that would stay with  
  
her for the rest of her life. "I have to get back to  
  
work."   
  
  
  
She brushed past Elizabeth, hating the surgeon for the  
  
cruelty of their relationship. Wanting to hate her  
  
for having things so easy, but she didn't. Elizabeth  
  
worked for her marriage, worked for her child, worked  
  
for her husband's life.   
  
  
  
While Kerry simply ran.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kim could smell the blood from the OR as she entered  
  
the exclusive hospital. The hospital was one of the  
  
toughest, and most critical to the San Francisco area.  
  
Yet, everyday that went by, the more out of place she  
  
felt. The more she missed County, and the  
  
short-tempered redhead that ran it.   
  
  
  
But that was then and this was now. There was nothing  
  
left for her there. Kerry had turned out to be the  
  
very thing Kim would never have expected. She'd  
  
turned her back on Kim when she'd needed her the most,  
  
and then she'd wanted Kim to come running back as  
  
though it had never happened.   
  
  
  
It had happened, though. Kerry had betrayed her  
  
friendship, her love, and her very morals. Now it was  
  
a ghost that haunted her every night and every  
  
morning. She couldn't even go on a date without the  
  
memories of the redhead appearing in the front of her  
  
mind, teasing her with creamy white skin and satin  
  
sweat.   
  
  
  
Standards that Kerry had risen, continued to rise,  
  
forcing her to compare her current lover to Kerry.   
  
The small woman with a large heart, who was a demon in  
  
bed.   
  
  
  
"Dr. Legaspi, I need you to sign off on Mrs. Baboo,  
  
before we can take her in."   
  
  
  
(** Ohh, that poor woman. I can imagine her growing  
  
up, the other kids teasing her, calling her "My Sweet  
  
Baboo!" Old 'Peanuts' joke. **)  
  
  
  
She took the chart, scribbling her signature across it  
  
with angry letters. She hated this place.   
  
  
  
She slammed her clipboard onto the desk, sending a  
  
large pile of charts spilling across the floor.   
  
Ignoring the amused statement on the elderly nurse's  
  
face, she bent over to pick them up guiltily.   
  
  
  
Chart after chart, she slapped them onto a careless  
  
pile. Her lanky form unfolded, so she could dump them  
  
back onto the OR desk. The precarious pile slid over  
  
it, leaving one chart glaring up at her.   
  
  
  
WEAVER, KERRY.  
  
  
  
"What the hell...?" She flipped the chart open, the  
  
voice in her mind taunting her about breaking moral  
  
and hospital policy. But the ex-lover in her needed to  
  
know what was going on.   
  
  
  
She scanned the chart hurriedly, noting absently that  
  
the date of surgery was the day after she was fired.   
  
The date of diagnosis... Her eyes snapped back to the  
  
line, freezing at the implications of what it said.   
  
  
  
"February..." Any anger she still had faded away into  
  
a dizzy array of hurt and concern. Suddenly  
  
everything made sense. Kerry's distance, how quiet  
  
she'd been the last two weeks they were together, the  
  
little problems she'd been having that Kerry had  
  
brushed off as being the result of too much work.   
  
  
  
"Oh Kerry, why didn't you tell me?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Her heart pounded into her chest, through spot-soaked  
  
eyes that wanted nothing more than the peace that  
  
sleep would bring once more. The nights and days were  
  
no longer distinguishable, running into each other in  
  
a blur of pain and desperation.   
  
  
  
The phone rang, and she ignored it like a neighbor's  
  
radio played too loud.  
  
  
  
All she wanted was to curl up in a dark corner and  
  
stay there until she died. The relief of release  
  
allowing her soul the paradise she craved. But then  
  
again, the gods didn't seem to want to end her  
  
suffering anytime soon.   
  
  
  
BEEP! "Kerry, it's Elizabeth. I was wondering if we  
  
could talk..."   
  
  
  
"I bet you do." She shut off the answering machine,  
  
not wanting to hear any of the messages that were on  
  
there. Having to put up with Elizabeth's grudge at  
  
work was bad enough without having to put up with it  
  
at home.   
  
  
  
Some slight degree of oblivion had begun to seep over  
  
her when the phone rang again, yanking her violently  
  
back to merciless consciousness. 'Damn it, Corday,  
  
take a hint, would you please?'  
  
  
  
She stared numbly at the ringing phone, trying to  
  
decide whether to answer it or not. All she wanted to  
  
do was to crawl into her large empty bed and pretend  
  
for just a few minutes that there was nothing wrong in  
  
her life.   
  
  
  
The weariness in her body dragged her up the stairs  
  
and into her bedroom. The darkness was a blanket of  
  
comfort that slide over her pain ridden body,  
  
engulfing her in a serene peace that she needed more  
  
than anything else in the world.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kim dropped the receiver back into the cradle and  
  
leaned back in her chair. She hadn't answered the  
  
phone. So either she was ignoring it, or something  
  
had happened. The surgery could've missed something,  
  
or her body had cramped up. Or maybe...   
  
  
  
She sighed, dropping her head forward. This was  
  
getting her nowhere fast. Besides, what would she  
  
say? 'Hey Kerry, how are you? Oh and by the way, I  
  
looked in your chart at Kennedy Hospital and know  
  
everything.'   
  
  
  
Her hand twitched over the phone unconsciously, a  
  
decision itching at her mind, until she finally began  
  
to dial. She had no choice in this.   
  
  
  
"Hello, Don? Kim Legaspi. Is that job still open?" 


	2. Chapter Two

Title: Stairway To Heaven   
  
Chapter: Two/?   
  
Rating: R   
  
Pairings: KW/KL, Kerry Weaver, Elizabeth Corday   
  
Genre: Drama   
  
Spoilers: Up to and including season eight   
  
Timeline: After Four Corners   
  
Beta Reader: Scotty Welles   
  
  
  
Summary: What if during Witch Hunt, and the following  
  
Episodes it wasn't fear that kept Kerry from helping  
  
Kim. What if there was something else going on with  
  
her. What if Kim had no idea about what that  
  
something was.   
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. All characters belong to Warner  
  
Bros and   
  
Michael Crichton.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The cold wind wrapped around her, as she fingered the  
  
pager. Three residents killed a young man. Two of  
  
her most promising residents had missed a diagnosis  
  
that a second year med student could make. A  
  
diagnosis that she might have needed them to make for  
  
her.   
  
  
  
The doctors had failed that young man. Because of one  
  
mistake, he would never get married. He would never  
  
have children. He would never have grandchildren, or  
  
experience his honeymoon. All because they had failed  
  
him. All because doctors were as fallible as the next  
  
guy.   
  
  
  
And her. She'd lost her pager. Left it in the stall  
  
of the bathroom. Something that she never would've  
  
done before. Maybe she should just use the rest of  
  
her vacation days. With everything going on in her  
  
life, she just couldn't seem to concentrate.   
  
  
  
Now, she was also faced with finding out who her  
  
mother was. That knowledge was finally in her hands,  
  
all she had to do was look. She would finally have  
  
all her questions answered. She would finally have  
  
all the mysteries about her life solved.   
  
  
  
"I thought your shift was over?"   
  
  
  
Kerry shut her eyes, telling herself that it was her  
  
imagination. There was no possible way that she could  
  
be hearing that voice. "I've finally lost it."   
  
  
  
"Not yet."   
  
  
  
Her eyes glanced over to the presence beside her,  
  
taking in the gorgeous blonde smiling at her. "I  
  
thought you'd left."   
  
  
  
"I needed time to think." Kim stared out at the city  
  
below. "I was so busy looking for reasons not to be  
  
with you, that I forgot about the reasons to stay."   
  
  
  
"Lori?"   
  
  
  
"You." Kim sighed sadly and handed her the second cup  
  
of coffee. "I was scared of what we had, and when  
  
you... I was looking for an excuse to break up with  
  
you."   
  
  
  
Kerry doubted that it was that simple. If what Kim  
  
was saying was true then there's no way she would just  
  
come back for Kerry. "What changed your mind?"   
  
  
  
"I took a job at Kennedy Hospital."   
  
  
  
She stepped back from Kim, her heart racing at the  
  
single sentence. It told her so much, with so few  
  
words. Kim knew, she'd found out somehow. Did she  
  
feel sorry for Kerry? Is that why she'd come back?   
  
"I see. So now what? You say that you want to take  
  
me back? That you feel sorry for me? That you have   
  
some..."   
  
  
  
"No!!" Kim slammed her cup down on the ledge of the  
  
roof, and grabbed her. "I love you. When I found  
  
out, all I could think of was how short life is. How  
  
much I regretted not being there for you. How much I  
  
had lost by breaking up with you."   
  
  
  
"That's it? I have a disease, and that makes  
  
everything okay? We just pick up where we were, and  
  
forget everything that's happened?" She felt the  
  
tears streaming down her face as Kim gently kissed  
  
her.   
  
  
  
"No. We learn from what happened, and we use it to  
  
make our relationship stronger."   
  
  
  
Kerry nodded, moving into Kim's arms, taking comfort  
  
in them that she'd denied herself over the last  
  
months. The tears began to run more freely, soaking  
  
the blonde's blouse. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I  
  
should've told you. I should've been there for you.   
  
I..."   
  
  
  
"Shhh. It's okay. It'll be okay."   
  
  
  
Kerry relaxed into the stronger woman, believing it  
  
for the first time in months. As long as Kim was by  
  
her side, she would believe just about anything was  
  
possible.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You're still the chief of the ER?"   
  
  
  
Kerry nearly groaned at the non-threatening tone in  
  
Kim's voice. The nonchalance the psychiatrist was  
  
displaying while she joined her at the table for  
  
dinner was absolutely masterful. "Not that much has  
  
changed since you left."   
  
  
  
Kim set her fork down to study her with those drilling  
  
blue eyes. "You're not going to step down."   
  
  
  
"There's no reason to." Kerry went back to her  
  
dinner, shoveling a fork full of teriyaki chicken into  
  
her mouth.   
  
  
  
"You're not serious." Kim grabbed her chin and forced  
  
Kerry to look at her. "Kerry, I may be a  
  
psychiatrist, but I still know a bit about medicine,  
  
and unless there's been some new breakthrough that I  
  
haven't been told about..."   
  
  
  
"There hasn't." Kerry sighed at the hurt in her  
  
ex...her lover's eyes. "I know that I need to be  
  
taking it easy, but this is who I am, and nothing can  
  
change that."   
  
  
  
"Kerry, you can't just ignore this." Kim grabbed her  
  
hand, pleading desperately with her. "If you keep  
  
this up you're going to kill yourself."   
  
  
  
"I'm going to be careful. There's nothing to worry  
  
about."   
  
  
  
"Bullshit. The slightest blood based infection could  
  
kill you. Then there's your heart, anything could  
  
trigger a..."   
  
  
  
"I know all that, and I'm taking precautions." Kerry  
  
squeezed her hand. "Look, if I think for one second  
  
that it's too much for me, or that it's putting me in  
  
danger, then I'll step down. I promise."   
  
  
  
Kim muttered under her breath angrily, giving her a  
  
hard glare. "If I believe that you're doing too much,  
  
swear to me that you will back down."   
  
  
  
"I swear. Now, can we finish eating?"   
  
  
  
"Sure." Kim poked at the food, her mouth turned into  
  
a small frown. "Is that what's wrong with your hip?"   
  
  
  
Kerry laid her fork down and sighed. "Yes."   
  
  
  
"You look a little stressed."   
  
  
  
"I'm fine."   
  
  
  
Kim smirked over at her. "Oh, too bad. I know a fun  
  
way to relieve stress."   
  
  
  
Kerry blinked at her plate, then looked over at her  
  
colleague to make sure she wasn't reading too much  
  
into it. But the red tint at the top of Kim's ears  
  
told her exactly what the tall blonde was talking  
  
about. "On second thought, the doctor did say I was  
  
supposed to stay relaxed."   
  
  
  
"Race you...!"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Kerry...?"   
  
  
  
'Shit.' She continued around the corner, hoping  
  
beyond hope that the surgeon would get distracted, or  
  
hit by a bus. Just because she was in a better mood  
  
over Kim's return to her life, she still wasn't able  
  
to deal with Corday. At least not today.   
  
  
  
"Kerry, there you are. I was looking all over for  
  
you."   
  
  
  
'And we all know why, too, but if you do kill me it  
  
won't be justifiable. At least according to Kim it  
  
isn't.' "This really isn't a good time..."   
  
  
  
"We need to talk."   
  
  
  
She was tempted to shoot Malucci just to have an  
  
excuse to get away from her. "If this is about Mr.  
  
Patterson..."   
  
  
  
"I'm talking about you." Elizabeth moved right into  
  
her face. "Now, we can either have this conversation  
  
here or we can have it in your office. I would  
  
recommend your office however, since I doubt you want  
  
your business all over the hospital."   
  
  
  
"Fine." She stormed down the hall towards the  
  
elevators, her temper flaring. "MY business is the  
  
key word."   
  
  
  
"What was that?"   
  
  
  
She glowered at Elizabeth. The glint in the surgeon's  
  
eyes confirming that she'd heard exactly what she  
  
said. "Nothing. Nothing at all."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The only good thing about this was that Elizabeth had  
  
picked her territory to talk on, giving her a little  
  
advantage over this. It wasn't that she didn't like  
  
the surgeon, she did. She even admired the other  
  
woman. Corday was everything she'd ever wanted  
  
in...to be as a woman.   
  
  
  
A deadly beauty, that would send most men, and a  
  
number of women, to their knees. Sexy curves that  
  
went on forever and never stopped. A mind as quick  
  
and sharp as any top surgeon or doctor. And she'd  
  
only gotten sexier since she gave birth. Her body  
  
softer, filled out more, in a way only a new mother  
  
could have.   
  
  
  
"I can think of any number of diagnosis that would  
  
cover the most obvious symptoms, and I have a feeling  
  
I know what's wrong with you. But I'd like to hear it  
  
from you."   
  
  
  
Kerry propped herself up on the front of the desk,  
  
staring at the pacing surgeon with disbelief. "Look,  
  
I know you want to hurt me for the whole thing with  
  
Mark, but..."   
  
  
  
"Damn it, Kerry, I am not trying to destroy your  
  
career. I am your colleague, and I respect you. I  
  
would like the chance to give you some sort of  
  
support."   
  
  
  
"Marfans's. I have Marfans's."   
  
  
  
Elizabeth sank into the chair numbly. "But it's rare  
  
for someone with a deformed aorta to survive this  
  
long."   
  
  
  
"They said that if I had waited any longer, that I  
  
would've died."   
  
  
  
The surgeon nodded absently, her eyes rapidly moving.   
  
"Have you told your parents? Your family will need to  
  
get tested as soon as possible. If you have it, then  
  
one of them is the carrier."   
  
  
  
"Not yet, but I will." Kerry cleared her throat  
  
awkwardly. "I should get back."   
  
  
  
"Of course." Elizabeth stood up, waiting for her.   
  
"They have you on blood thinners?"   
  
  
  
"And Beta Blockers." Kerry closed the door to her  
  
office, and headed over to the elevators.   
  
  
  
"If you need anything..."   
  
  
  
Kerry hurried into the elevator. "I'll keep you in  
  
mind."   
  
  
  
As the doors closed, she slumped against the wall. 


End file.
